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Spare the Kids: Why Whupping Children Won't Save Black America, by Stacey Patton
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Review
“The personal and generational damage Patton lays bare indicts a fearful culture of violence and implicates not only conceptions of good parenting among African Americans, but among Americans at large. This is a must-read for all concerned about the welfare of children, about America’s future, and about the U.S. Constitution’s pledge of ‘We the People’ to secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity.”—Library Journal“Spare the Kids is a necessary book. Drawing from history, popular culture, and cutting edge research, Stacey Patton makes a careful and persuasive argument against the practice of hitting children. Without condescension or unnecessary moralizing, this book will challenge your most deeply held assumptions and refute your strongest arguments. More importantly, it challenges us to develop a healthier and more humane approach to raising and loving our children.”—Marc Lamont Hill, author of Nobody: Casualties of America’s War on the Vulnerable, from Ferguson to Flint and Beyond“The impact on child-rearing among so many black families of Stacey Patton’s Spare the Kids may well prove as powerfully corrective as Harriet Beecher Stowe’s Uncle Tom’s Cabin was upon the acceptance of chattel slavery.”—David Levering Lewis, two-time Pulitzer Prize winner for biographies on W. E. B. Du Bois“Patton brilliantly demonstrates the ways that corporal punishment is indelibly linked to white supremacy, and a continuation of the systemic logic that undergirds it. In that sense, her work is less moralizing—something we already have more than enough of—than a structural analysis of systemic injustice and how that injustice has been transmitted directly, and often brutally, onto the bodies of children.”—Tim Wise, author of White Like Me: Reflections on Race from a Privileged Son“Patton’s book is the most forceful case against corporal punishment ever made. Rooted in a deep understanding of the historical devaluation of black life, informed by the best science on trauma and violence exposure as predictors of future violence, and written in a fierce, urgent tone, if you turn these pages, you will stop beating your child. Ending the legacy of the master’s lash in our schools and rejecting the preacher’s admonition against sparing the rod in our homes may be the surest way for parents to show black children that their lives matter.”—Khalil Muhammad, author of The Condemnation of Blackness: Race, Crime, and the Making of Modern America and professor at Harvard Kennedy School“Spare the Kids is a heartbreaking—and important—book that addresses the nightmarish reality that Black parents devoted to bringing up their children with love and respect may engage in punishment that hurts their families and reinforces ideas of white superiority and Black inferiority. Skillfully weaving together history, the experiences of Black families, the reports of researchers and the work of child advocates, Stacey Patton is leading a call for change that will transform childrearing forever.”—Jorja Leap, author of Project Fatherhood: A Story of Courage and Healing in One of America’s Toughest Communities“As a writer who had my daughter in my middle thirties and my son in my forties, I had thought a lot about how I wanted to raise them. I decided before they were born that I would not spank them. Stacey Patton’s Spare the Kids confirmed my instinct that it couldn’t be a way to build the kind of loving, trusting relationship I wanted to have with my kids. Being a parent is hard, no doubt. We make decisions all day, every day, small ones and big that impact our children’s daily lives and ones that have long-range consequences. Patton’s book reminds us that by respecting black children, their thoughts, their gifts, and their humanity, we show them that we love them.”—Benilde Little, national best-selling author of Good Hair, The Itch, and Welcome to My Breakdown“Stacey Patton’s raw, searing and often disturbing examination peels back the layers of corporal punishment and exposes the deep and institutionalized wounds of our past, as well as the evidentiary tales of the present.”—Kuae Kelch Mattox, National President, Mocha Moms, Inc.
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About the Author
Dr. Stacey Patton is an adoptee, child abuse survivor, and former foster youth turned award-winning journalist, child advocate, and assistant professor of multimedia journalism at Morgan State University. Dr. Patton was formerly a senior enterprise reporter with the Chronicle of Higher Education, where she covered graduate education, faculty life and research, and race and diversity issues. She writes frequently about race and child welfare issues for the Washington Post, Al Jazeera, BBC News, and The Root.com, and she is a weekly columnist for DAME Magazine. She has appeared on Democracy Now, CBS News, and programs on Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, Al Jazeera, and the BBC. Dr. Patton has won journalism awards from the National Association of Black Journalists, Scripps Howard Foundation, William Randolph Hearst Foundation, and the National Education Writers Association, and, in 2015, she was the recipient of the Vernon Jarrett Medal for Journalistic Excellence in reporting on race. In addition to her work as a journalist, Dr. Patton is the author of a memoir, That Mean Old Yesterday, published in 2008 by Simon & Schuster. Dr. Patton also travels the United States delivering keynote addresses and conducting cultural competency trainings for child welfare and juvenile justice professionals. In 2016, she received an award from the American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children for her service and advancement of cultural competency in child maltreatment prevention and intervention. Dr. Patton is also the creator of www.sparethekids.com, a web portal that offers education on child development issues and positive discipline techniques as alternatives to the physical punishment of children.
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Product details
Paperback: 256 pages
Publisher: Beacon Press (March 21, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0807061042
ISBN-13: 978-0807061046
Product Dimensions:
6 x 0.7 x 9 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.5 out of 5 stars
38 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#83,940 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Dr Patton's book is courageous and the message long overdue and she brings the protection of black children to the front and center from corporal punishment in families and school. She in detail discusses the literal mountain of research from the past 30 years that has powerfully shown over and over and over again the danger of physical punishment to children. She mentions how in 1977 the Supreme Court defended the brutal beating of a school student held down by a number of educators. The child had huge bruises and welts and could not move for weeks. They basically said that it was not cruel and unusual punishment although they were aware that nobody (all adults are protected from physical beating by anyone) only children may be beaten by law. These horrors have largely been denied or ignored by not only the public but to the US Congress who over the past few years has rejected several bills to stop legalized child abuse (usually paddling) in our schools in the 19 states where paddling is legal. There are too many injuries some serious which for the most part our courts have looked the other way. This occurs disproportionately with the most vulnerable children such as disabled or autistic children. Minorities, especially black males, are also disproportionately paddled/beaten in school. She recommends advocating to protect black children from this Civil Rights violation. Currently HR Bill 160, a new bill, is being ignored or rejected by Congress. She discusses the history of corporal punishment of black children including some roots in slavery where beating and brutalizing was so common by slave owners. She mentions the fear of unjust punitive authority by usually white authority figures factors into the rationale of parents physically punishing black children to keep them in line from awakening the horrifying punishing reaction by those in power.She cited countless experts and studies to affirm her position. She is a champion for the vulnerable and should be heard by all including parents who may not agree but desperately need this guidance and knowledge. I have seen up close what Dr Patton is bravely advocating. I have 32 years as a child protection administrator and therapist and have also written on the issue . Dr Patton's book recharges my batteries in the uphill battle to protect children from physical punishment
Slavery change our names, religions, eating habits, sexuality, politics, education,etc.,---in essence that diabolical system transformed us as human beings. It is no doubt that violence can change human beings, for violence and the threat of violence is the very foundation that The System of White Supremacy is built on. No doubt slavery impacted the way Black People parent. Mimicking the tactics of White Supremacists in raising child is not the way Black People should go, for as this book so clearly points out, we will create seriously damaged human beings, i.e. violent, low self esteem, sexually deviant, self destructive, anti intellectual, etc. So many Blacks believe abusing children is the best and only way to discipline children simply because The System of White Supremacy taught them that. They can never conceive that their child was given to them by an incredible divine and cosmic force to solve the Black People's greatest problem in the known Universe....White Supremacy! The very children that we abuse are the ones who just might carry the solution to our problem and may be the reason that the problem has not been solved to date! It is Black People's cosmic duty to stop hurting our children! This book is a great contribution to spreading that message.
SPARE THE KIDS takes an incisive look at the bullying dynamics prevalent in black communities, and the role parents play in perpetuating or resisting them. This difficult and hopeful book reveals the dark patterns that persist in many black families that cause the very problems they believe they are trying to prevent. America's bullying epidemic won't diminish until parents of all races—especially black and white—take responsibility for the cycle of pain we have all been woven into, and become skilled at building positive emotions in ourselves and our children. The post-slavery cycle of pain and trauma that pervades black communities affects all Americans. SPARE THE KIDS provides the key insights and research that will help get us unstuck, moving not just our conversation but our parenting practice beyond this pattern. Patton provides an air-tight understanding of the cultural and political forces that perpetuate cruelty to black children, and invites all readers to seek perspective. The final chapter, "Sparing the Rod," shares stories of parents who have opened their eyes to new paths, showing that all parents have the power to learn positive parenting skills. My heart leapt when I came across SPARE THE KIDS; this information was not available to us when we wrote THE BULLYING ANTIDOTE, and we highly recommend it to our readers.
Dr. Patton has presented an extremely well-documented view of the role of harsh parenting practices in the black community. Her contention is that harsh parenting, in the name of God and keeping their children safe from white violence, will keep African Americans down for generations to come. Harsh parenting contributes to a lack of self-regulation, pleasure seeking and hyper-vigilance, as well as life-long health problems, outcomes predicted based on the 1998 research by the CDC on the effects of adverse childhood experience (ACEs). This is a must-read for anyone seeking to understand why the black community has difficulty moving forward and as an assessment of parenting practices for all.
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